The Dam Washed Away

Now that William has figured out how to make the words come out, there is just no stopping him! Without a doubt, every time I ask him what he needs he will answer me with his words! How amazing!

"Who is that?"

"It's William!" was his response when he saw himself in a picture just a few moments ago. Wow.

Test..

Me: "Who is that?"
Will: "It's Mommy."

Wow.

Another test..

Me: "Who is that?"
Will: "It's Sara."

Four years, 10 months, and 19 days to answer a W question. Written words cannot convey the enthusiasm and praise these responses produced. Huge progress this summer. I can't wait to see how he progresses over the upcoming school year.

I see...

The other day Will pulled my glasses off my face and put them on his own. He squinted as he tried to make sense of the altered images now focusing on his own retinas. I couldn't help but wonder if they were helping him. We've already learned his big sister has some visual deficiencies.. so logic would dictate William certainly might as well. But then I got to thinking about how on earth could we ever determine which prescription would be the best ones to correct his vision. It wouldn't be possible to get him to respond to the typical barrage of questions the optometrist would throw at him.. so how indeed?

It occurred to me that he could do it all on his own. He's so capable in so many ways other than verbal communication and it doesn't take him long to pick up on the idea behind a new task. I thought perhaps we could just put him in front of a table with various lenses on it and he'd try them all out, selecting the proper ones.. then properly use the provided tools to assemble them into the frame.. put them on and then walk out the door as if nothing even remotely unusual had just transpired.

Now to find an optometrist willing to give a four year old his tray of lenses to play with.. hmmmm.......

The Little Things...

I understood a long time ago that my little wonder boy wasn't going to be developing along "typical" time lines. That's okay.. but it doesn't stop me from having the highest hopes for his happiness. When my little 4.75 year old dragged me to the corner this morning, globe ball in hand, and told me to stay there I was curious as to what was up. He then turned, took 3 steps away from me, turned back to face me and tossed me the ball. I then tossed the ball back to him.. and he caught it! Our little volley lasted no fewer than 10 round trips at which point our little game of catch was disrupted by his big sister. Now this might not seem like an activity worth writing about to most of you.. but to me.. who wondered if the day might ever come.. I am again astounded.

Kiss It Better, Mom..

I had my hair pulled this afternoon. Not just your ordinary hair pulling, mind you, this hair pulling had purpose! Never one to shoot down my son's behaviors without an attempt at comprehension I went along with it.. although I do believe a small "ouch" may have been uttered in protest. What followed was astounding. William directed my lips to his finger.. which he had just injured.. albeit very mildly.. and wanted Mommy to kiss it better. Yay for hair pulling!

Rain..rain..feel free to stay..

I love the rain...

As I watched my little wonder boy lay in front of the furnace vent and gaze out the window at the endless rain falling I realized he is seeing his world this morning much the same as he has since his life began. He was peaceful, still waking up, and the dancing drops as the unbroken light rain gathered forces and dripped off the rooftop must have captured his attention completely, much as I recall being mesmerized by the rain as a child. The brightly lit droplets joining together on the end of the branch hanging just outside the glass were hypnotic.. and the option of refocusing the eyes to the waiting puddle below, infinite splashes contributing to its size, made for more visual stimulation than any small child could ever hope for first thing in the morning.

As I gazed upon my wonder boy gazing upon the simple force of nature we call rain I realized that it is my perception of the world that has shifted, albeit ever so slightly. Yesterday I had an uncommon opportunity to meet with Will's teacher. She and I had talked about how I would cherish the chance to watch him in his classroom environment.. his interaction with the other children.. his level of participation.. and distraction. But other obligations had held this experience from me. This amazing woman then told me she had made a video tape of Will in class and extended an invitation to meet with me at the school to view it. On that brief 30 minute recording I saw a happy little boy, struggling to be part of the group, willing his own instinctive behavior into submission so that he could participate in these beloved activities. I saw a child who was taking it all in, organizing every detail into its appropriate place, sure to be drawn upon in a future need. I saw a child who seemed more aware of his enormous challenge than even I. But most importantly, I saw a child who was clearly autistic.

It's been years since our family began this journey of discovery with our son. That journey has led us to knowledge and understanding, to grief and pain, to acceptance and fortitude. But observing him there, in his own separate world, working through it all under the talented guidance of these skilled artists, was like being hit by a freight train. I awoke from my denial in that brief time and came to see that even though he does not display many of the "classic" behaviors so commonly associated with autism, many of his behaviors fit the mold perfectly. And like the many variations in the dance playing out just beyond the window pane this morning there are equally as many variations in the children we label as autistic.. yet they are all amazing.

He finally said it!!

Now, granted, I cheated. I'd had a situation last week where he read aloud (as he usually does) a request I wanted him to make verbally. Always trying to get him to use his words.. and it had worked surprisingly well. He'd actually strapped himself into a booster seat and was walking around the kitchen with this contraption strapped to his backside and trying to get me to open it up for him so he could strap himself back into it and do it all over again. So, after asking him verbally to say "open please" about 4 times I wrote it on a piece of paper. He said it. I praised him and told him that wasn't so hard to do and look.. I opened it. He then continued to verbally make the request as he played his game. So yes, when the thought crossed my mind I thought it might be a fun experiment. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote "I love you Mommy". He read it aloud once and then modified it. He said "I love you too Mommy". I actually cried. He's 4 years and 5 months.. and he finally said it. =) I want to believe he generated the sentiment internally and was sincere but even if he simply pulled it from his vast database I can't complain.

Communication

Why is it important? Why can't non-communicative persons just be allowed to be? Well I, for one, don't think that's a very healthy mindset. No man is an island and CERTAINLY no four year old is one either. I am amazed daily at my son's emerging abilities when it comes to communication. My son has been very verbal since he was a baby. Some days I feel like he won't shut up. But there's never been much purpose in his constant chatter.. other than perhaps to refine his speech. So many times I've asked him what he wants. Noodles? French fries? Scrambled eggs? Waffles? Juice? Milk? I ask and I ask but I get this blank stare in response. He just doesn't seem to understand that there's a question there that needs to be answered. He's slowly evolving the ability to use picture cards to indicate what he wants but even that's spotty at best. I'm lucky I guess in that I'm reasonably perceptive and can often figure out what he wants. It's a little like caring for an infant. Hungry? Thirsty? Wet? Sleepy? You just sort of go through the checklist. And I've learned that this may be the extent to which he interacts with me when it comes to getting what he wants. But his babbling has evolved. His seemingly pointless barrage of words is starting to have purpose. I just have to be listening carefully enough. Dare I hope that this is just the beginning?

Kisses!

Well it finally happened. I've learned to accept that my son doesn't say "I love you, Mommy" like most 4 year olds should.. but when he planted a kiss square on my lips the other day it made all my waiting worth it. He's always loved to be hugged and his favorite place is on Mommy or Daddy's lap.. but a kiss? I never thought I'd see the day! And to have 10 kisses in a row.. well it was just more than my little heart could take and it just melted. =)